Life is Not a Vlog

I harbour a profound and absolute loathing for YouTube travel videos. If one must endure another painfully chipper "Hello, Guys" introduction, it might just be grounds to throw the router directly out the window. The atrocious planning and abysmal production values of these quote-influencers-unquote are truly staggering. They are perpetually unprepared, entirely winging their itineraries, and offering absolutely nothing of value to learn. Instead, one is subjected to interminable, overly long broadcasts featuring aimless walking or utterly inconsequential documentation of what they happened to eat for lunch. Attempting to unearth content that is both up-to-date and of acceptable quality is a complete and utter waste of precious time.

   

My own alternative for pre-trip preparation, however, is admittedly just as absurd. As the accompanying photograph of our television displaying the classic 1942 Casablanca title card indicates, we depart for the city tomorrow, and my cinematic research is a masterclass in irrelevance. The film was shot almost entirely on California soundstages, save for the local Van Nuys airport and one brief introductory snippet, and a World War II melodrama has absolutely nothing to do with the city in 2026. Do not be surprised if my forthcoming photographs are actually in colour! This is a recurring affliction of mine. I have previously discovered that West Side Story makes for a dreadful practical guide to New York City, and Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday is remarkably unhelpful before visiting the eternal city in the current century, especially if one's not a princess.