Here's My Chance!

Email is not nearly as important as it once was. I find that it has become a means to sign up for promotional literature (and then later unsubscribe). I still have to use it with a few dinosaur friends who don't do social media. Even the gmail inbox incarnation is an attempt by Google to match the trends by making email more messenger-like.


Today, I actually missed correcting grammar on students' writings. (Before retirement, I never thought I'd type that!) After twenty years of email, I can't see that this recent message would've been worth anyone's while. It was automatically added to my spam folder, but this particular one isn't compelling enough to try reading through the all of the horrible language.

-----Original Message-----

From: "Umair Jalo"
Sent: May 19, 2015 4:12 PM
Subject: Hello

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR
TELEX / COMPUTER DEPARTMENT
TINUBU SQUARE
LAGOS - NIGERIA


CABLE: CENBANK NG
CONTACT NUMBER: (provide upon responds) (24 HOURS)
PRIVATE EMAIL: umairjalo@googlemail.com


URGENT


DEAR SIR,

MY NAME IS MR. UMAIR JALO OF THE TELEX / COMPUTER DEPARTMENT OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA. I AM SENDING THIS PRIVATE E-MAIL BASED ON THE CONFIDENTIAL NATURE OF THE TRANSACTION. PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO ADVISE THAT IF AFTER GOING THROUGH MY PROPOSAL AND YOU DO NOT ACCEPT IT, KINDLY KEEP IT TO YOUR SELF.

I AM STILL IN SERVICE WITH THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN) AND I WOULD NOT LIKE TO LOSE MY JOB. AS I FOUND OUT THAT YOU ALMOST MET ALL THE STATUTORY REQUIREMENTS OF THE CBN IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT PAYMENT.

YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT OF INTEREST GROUPS. A LOT OF PEOPLE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PAYMENT AND THOSE PEOPLE ARE MERELY DOING PAPER WORK WITH YOU AND THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU RECEIVE EMAIL AND PHONE MESSAGES FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN NIGERIA EVERYDAY.

THEIR WHOLE GAME PLAN IS TO FRUSTRATE YOU INORDER FOR YOU TO ABANDON THE CONTRACT PAYMENT AND THEN THEY WILL BE COMFORTABLE AND FREE ENOUGH TO TRANSFER THE CONTRACT FUNDS INTO THEIR OVERSEAS ACCOUNT. HENCE, YOU HAVE LOST TRUST ON WHOM TO BELIEVE TO BE GENUINE.

TO SUM IT UP, I WISH TO ASSURE YOU THAT WITH MY POSITION HERE IN THE TELEX DEPARTMENT I CAN PUNCH THE COMPUTER AND CREDIT YOUR ACCOUNT STRAIGHT WITHIN FIVE (5) WORKING DAYS. FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH YOU WILL GIVE ME AT THE CONSUMMATION OF THIS DEAL.

FINALLY, YOU WILL HAVE TO ACCEPT TO KEEP THIS TRANSACTION STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL, IF YOU ACCEPT MY PROPOSAL, KINDLY GET BACK TO ME IMMEDIATELY ON MY ABOVE PRIVATE MAIL,................. OR PRIVATE NUMBER:

EVEN IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT MY OFFER, I WILL SINCERELY ADVISE YOU TO FINDTIME YOURSELF TO COME AND REGULARIZE YOUR DEFECTIVE DOCUMENTS INSTEAD OF FRUITLESS EXCHANGE OF FAX MESSAGES WITH OFFICES HERE.

WHEN REPLYING THIS EMAIL, PLEASE RE-CONFIRM YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBERS, AND EMAIL ADDRESS.

REGARDS.

MR. UMAIR JALO.